Imperial encounter with the True Cross
The Emperor and his parents this afternoon saw what is believed to be part of the wooden cross on which Christ was crucified. Jonathan I, Emperor Mother Margaret and Emperor Father Terry met in Knightsbridge to walk the short distance to the Russian Orthodox Cathedral of the Dormition of the Mother of God, where part of the Cross was being brought. The relic, usually kept in Jerusalem, is currently on a “tour” of the United Kingdom. The Emperor and his parents arrived at the start of an hour and a half long service, during which the piece of the Cross arrived and was placed on a stand in the middle of the church while hymns and psalms were sung and prayers were chanted. After the service, members of the congregation went up to venerate the relic, which is encased in an icon of silver and gold. Jonathan I has been an Orthodox Christian since 2011, but this was the first time that his father has been to an Orthodox service, while the Emperor Mother has previously been to two.
Australian police escorted from New South Scotland
Two Australian constables from the New South Wales Police Force have been escorted from the Austenasian Crown Dependency of New South Scotland. The two police constables are reported to have been harassing visitors to New South Scotland (which is surrounded by the Australian state of New South Wales) by asking visitors of the crown dependency for identification in a rude manner. A constable from New South Scotland’s own police force, the New South Scotland Constabulary, then asked the Australian police to leave. The Australian police were escorted from New South Scotland by the constable, who was assisted by a group of socialists visiting from Australia who to the amusement of others sang the Internationale while escorting the Australian constables out. New South Wales Police Force is not thought to have made any formal comment on the incident.
State of mourning declared in Palasia
Lord John Gordon, the Baron and Representative of Palasia, has declared a state of mourning in the Town after learning of the death of his grandfather early this morning. His Imperial Majesty the Emperor has sent Lord John his condolences.
The Emperor moves into Roehampton University
His Imperial Majesty the Emperor yesterday moved into accommodation at the University of Roehampton. Emperor Father Terry and Emperor Mother Margaret helped Jonathan I to unpack his belongings in the en suite room he now lives in, located in the Digby Stuart College of the university. The university is located just over 6 miles away from Wrythe, which the Emperor plans to visit every few weeks. The Emperor shares the floor which his room is on with six other people. Although each room has its own bathroom, there is a shared kitchen area. After moving into the university yesterday, Jonathan I today attended talks given to those in the Humanities Department before having lunch and spending the afternoon with Countess Eritoshi, who is also studying at the university although not taking up residence there. The Emperor will start a three-year course on Theology and Religious Studies next week after formal enrolment on Wednesday.
University places confirmed for Jonathan I and Countess Eritoshi
The places applied for by His Imperial Majesty the Emperor and Countess Eritoshi of Memphis at the University of Roehampton have both “been confirmed” by UCAS as their exam results were released this morning. The Universities and Colleges Admissions Service (UCAS), the admission service for applications to universities in the UK, sent Emperor Jonathan I and the Countess of Memphis messages to their accounts on the UCAS website confirming their places after Roehampton University was sent their exam results. The Emperor and Countess both finished their A-level exams in June. An A-level – officially known as an Advanced Level General Certificate of Education – is a qualification earned in the UK after two years of study at the completion of pre-university education. A-levels of a certain grade are required to enter university. Both the Emperor and Countess will attend the University of Roehampton in September, the former to study Theology and the latter Zoology. The University is less than a mile away from the southern bank of the River Thames, and the Emperor plans to live there for most of his three year course. Jonathan I obtained an A in Sociology, a B in Government and Politics, and a B in Law. He has received congratulations via telephone and Facebook from several friends and members of the extended Imperial Family.
Populations of Wrythe and Thanasia return from Wales
The immediate Imperial Family returned to Wrythe yesterday evening from holiday in North Wales. The four residents of Wrythe stayed in a large house in the coastal town of Criccieth. Unbeknownst to them until a few months previously, the population of Thanasia (Countess Eritoshi and her sister) and their parents were also staying in North Wales the same week, a few miles away in the town of Harlech. The two families met on Monday morning and Thursday afternoon, exploring Harlech Castle before investigating rockpools and swimming on the nearby beach on the latter occasion. The Wrythians had arrived on Saturday 3rd August, whereas the Thanasians had arrived on Friday 2nd, climbing a nearby mountain on Saturday. Horse rides, ten-pin bowling, archery, coastal walks and a visit to a petting farm were just some of the activities that the residents of Wrythe partook in during their week away. The Emperor used the time spent in long car journeys to write up three new Imperial Decrees, which can be seen on the Austenasian government website.
560th anniversary of the Fall of Constantinople commemmorated
The Emperor has asked that Austenasians today commemmorate the 560th anniversary of the Fall of Constantinople in 1453, which marked the end of the Roman Empire and, in the opinion of many historians, of the medieval period. The Austenasian Star is flying vertically from the Imperial Residence today as a sign of respect – this is the customary equivalent to flying it half mast, as it lacks a flagpole. The Emperor has also uploaded a video to YouTube which can be seen here, a recording of a chant lamenting the fall of the city, with a more detailed account of the event in the video’s description. Constantinople was founded as the eastern capital of the Roman Empire in 330 by Constantine I, with the eastern half of the empire (known as the “Byzantine Empire” by later western European historians but still referred to as the “Empire of the Romans” by its citizens and neighbours) surviving the fall of the west in the 470s for almost a thousand years. The Eastern Roman Empire flourished during the Early Middle Ages but entered terminal decline after 1204 when Constantinople was temporarily taken by western crusaders. By 1400, the mighty Eastern Roman Empire had declined to the extent that it consisted of little more than Constantinople itself and a few Greek islands. In 1453, the Ottoman (Turkish) Sultan Mehmed II led an attack on Constantinople. Although heavily outnumbered (7,000:80,000) and facing vastly superior technology, the Romans held out for over a month before the city fell on 29 May. The last Roman Emperor, Constantine XI, threw off his purple regalia and died leading the last remnants of the Roman army in a final charge against the Ottomans after they breached the walls.
The Emperor celebrates Orthodox Easter
HIM Emperor Jonathan I has become the first western emperor in over 900 years to attend an Orthodox Christian Easter service. The Emperor, who converted to the Orthodox Church in May 2011 while still Crown Prince, last night attended the midnight service at the Greek Orthodox Church of Saints Constantine and Helen at Crystal Palace, celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Unlike Western Christianity, Eastern Christianity (which includes the Orthodox Church) uses the Julian instead of the Gregorian calendar to calculate the date of Easter (known as Pascha in Orthodoxy), meaning that it falls later than in the West most years. After prayers and chants, all light in the church was extinguished shortly before midnight. The congregation, all holding candles, then lit them from candles held by the priest by the altar, with the light spreading throughout the church as those with lit candles lit the candles of those standing behind them. Illuminated only by candlelight early on Easter morning, the Paschal troparian – a short Easter hymn – was sung (in Greek) by the congregation: “Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and bestowing life upon those in the tombs!” The troparian at last year’s service can be heard at this link. After celebrating the Resurrection, the 1600-year old Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom was held, with the Emperor recieving Holy Communion before the service finished at around 02:15. It is thought that this is the first time for over 940 years that an emperor ruling in the west has attended an Orthodox Easter service. The last time that this would have happened would have been when (“Byzantine”) Roman co-Emperors Michael VII and Romanos IV celebrated Easter on 4 April 1070, the year before the last territory of the medieval Roman Empire in Italy fell to the Normans.
Jonathan I announces start of filming on Cool Barbie VIII
I’m very pleased to announce that filming is currently underway for Cool Barbie VIII. I’m hoping this will be a huge success, the best episode yet since IV. I’ve understood from reviews that episodes V and VII are generally people’s least favourite (on the basis of plotlines – the less said about the horrendous effects of episode I the better), and I think that may be because they are very much “stand-alone” episodes. Cool Barbie V shows Corporal Barbie joining Spectrum, and Cool Barbie VII does tie in with the ongoing story arc of Colin, but you don’t need to watch any of V other than the opening scene to understand how VI follows on from IV, and you won’t need to watch episode number VII to understand VIII, it’ll effectively continue straight on from the end of VI. Episode VII just prolongs the storyline, building a bit of tension for the drama of VIII. And it will be dramatic. Two old enemies will return at the same time and bring with them a new one. The ending, too, will be very surprising, although I really can’t give any clues as to what happens. This was originally going to be a two-parter, but I eventually dropped this idea simply because it would take so much time and effort to create the masterpiece originally planned. I’m talking about something maybe as long as forty minutes, with pyrotechnics and CGI required – while it would have been a great achievement to create, the story has been condensed into a single episode with few scenes demanding amazing special effects, just so that this film can be realistically made some time this year. Those of you wanting stories with more than one episode needn’t be disappointed, though, as a tetralogy will follow VIII with a trilogy as a finale afterwards. That being said, VIII will still be a brilliant film. This story has been in the works – believe it or not – since December 2008, when the ATP scripts were first being drafted. It’s been edited quite a bit since then, but it’s great to know that this story will finally be told. ICJA Cheam, 7 February 2013
